I am happy and crooning to myself.
I am relaxed and talking to myself.
Out from the dark shadows it steps out.
It is uglier than any nightmare I ever knew.
It is vulgar than any epithet I ever heard.
It is more frightening than any fear I ever experienced.
It hisses at me menacingly,
With its forked tongue
Touching its lips obscenely.
It looks at me amusedly,
As if I am the prey who could never escape it.
It crawls towards me from all the sides,
Leaving me no route to escape.
And there is not a thing I could do
To avert this situation.
It grabs me and starts pulling me
Towards the hell-hole it crept out from.
I feel too powerless to resist this onslaught.
The worst thing is:
This creature is nothing but a part of myself!
It owes its existence to me.
I gave it birth, and I made it grow.
Now it has come back to haunt me
Like a Frankenstein's monster.
I am about to fall into the bottomless pit
Where it is leading me to.
But I know I wouldn't take that tumble down.
In a split second pause, it would disappear.
The hole would magically fill in by itself
And everything would be serene again.
I know this would happen; it did before.
It doesn't want me to die immediately.
It cannot afford to do that, oh no!
It survives by feeding on my frustration and despair.
I will tell you what it is.
It is nothing but my self doubt!
I know I have to pull myself together.
There is no other alternative.
No God is going to come and save me from its clutches.
No miracle is going to happen.
There is only one person
Who can change things,
The way they are.
It is me......
I think about everybody whom I love and respect.
My parents, my friends, my peers, my idols.
Their faces look at me anxiously,
And exhort me not to give up.
They are banking on me;
I can sense that.
I clench my teeth and mutter all my strength.
Strength which comes to me from my spirituality,
From the straight idealistic person, I was in my past.
I encounter it and look into its hateful eyes head on.
The mental battle begins.
The surrounding din is ear splitting.
The accompanying blaze is all blinding.
As we each try to destroy the other,
The energy flow is overwhelming.
My weapon is my belief in the general good of humanity.
My courage becomes a sword and I cut it to pieces.
I rest only after it has been atomized and decimated.
And it is again silent all around.
The whole universe rejoices
And I can hear the silent approval of the forces of nature.
Approval for the triumph of human spirit.
I move on now to complete my life's mission.
Towards the horizon where the earth and the sky meet.
I am relaxed and talking to myself.
Out from the dark shadows it steps out.
It is uglier than any nightmare I ever knew.
It is vulgar than any epithet I ever heard.
It is more frightening than any fear I ever experienced.
It hisses at me menacingly,
With its forked tongue
Touching its lips obscenely.
It looks at me amusedly,
As if I am the prey who could never escape it.
It crawls towards me from all the sides,
Leaving me no route to escape.
And there is not a thing I could do
To avert this situation.
It grabs me and starts pulling me
Towards the hell-hole it crept out from.
I feel too powerless to resist this onslaught.
The worst thing is:
This creature is nothing but a part of myself!
It owes its existence to me.
I gave it birth, and I made it grow.
Now it has come back to haunt me
Like a Frankenstein's monster.
I am about to fall into the bottomless pit
Where it is leading me to.
But I know I wouldn't take that tumble down.
In a split second pause, it would disappear.
The hole would magically fill in by itself
And everything would be serene again.
I know this would happen; it did before.
It doesn't want me to die immediately.
It cannot afford to do that, oh no!
It survives by feeding on my frustration and despair.
I will tell you what it is.
It is nothing but my self doubt!
I know I have to pull myself together.
There is no other alternative.
No God is going to come and save me from its clutches.
No miracle is going to happen.
There is only one person
Who can change things,
The way they are.
It is me......
I think about everybody whom I love and respect.
My parents, my friends, my peers, my idols.
Their faces look at me anxiously,
And exhort me not to give up.
They are banking on me;
I can sense that.
I clench my teeth and mutter all my strength.
Strength which comes to me from my spirituality,
From the straight idealistic person, I was in my past.
I encounter it and look into its hateful eyes head on.
The mental battle begins.
The surrounding din is ear splitting.
The accompanying blaze is all blinding.
As we each try to destroy the other,
The energy flow is overwhelming.
My weapon is my belief in the general good of humanity.
My courage becomes a sword and I cut it to pieces.
I rest only after it has been atomized and decimated.
And it is again silent all around.
The whole universe rejoices
And I can hear the silent approval of the forces of nature.
Approval for the triumph of human spirit.
I move on now to complete my life's mission.
Towards the horizon where the earth and the sky meet.
